One of the art of debate’s great forefathers was Socrates. He used deductive reasoning, critical thinking and gentle persuasion to let his opponent hang themselves on their own petard. A comedian can aim for these lofty ideals, but where’s the funny in being fair? Instead, during this debate ‘Comedy Is Sexy’ (as both a notably humorous and attractive man this had me curious) every ounce of rhetoric, from pander to slander, was used to firework their way to victory.
Jimmy ‘beauty is but a light switch away’ James Eaton was the affirmative captain and his blow-up clown knock-me-down-I’m-right-back-up-always-’on’-always-joking-you-can’t-kill-me demeanor wore down the crowds defenses with re-dubbed PCD, pacing and a gang of hip-hop ewok babies. Some of his onslaught miss run close to cliché (and plagiarism of the Wizard of New Zealand), but then Jimmy is not subject to the laws of man.
The opposing team captain was Hoo-Haa bedfellow Andrea Gibbs, who had wisdom beyond her Little Rascal voice ‘sexy is a feather during foreplay, comedy is a whole chicken’. ‘Murder and Rape-e-ness is not sexy. Unless you’re German, who make the sexist pornography. But they have no sense of humor’
Natalie Lewis had science (and PowerPoint) on her side’s side, although it may be unnatural science given that it put Ben Sutton’s face to a badonkadonk and let Nat have sex with bicycles (don’t ask, she didn’t tell). Evil may be too strong a word, but she was very enthusiastic to charade ‘martyr’.
Michael Workman, being a Goth, was naturally for the negative. However as he stated ‘I, your hero, am a walking example for the other team’. He’s so smooth and sexy, it’s a wonder the audience heard any of his jokes over the pounding of his wow factor. Michael, more than anyone else tonight, has the annoying abilty to make his to the point off-cuts sound like it’s his best bit cut and pasted in. ‘Danger is sexy, or as the French say dan-ghere…I assume’ ‘Musicians always get the girl, all the way back to Bach. Once you went Bach, you never…went back’, and my favourite ‘I HAVE A 94 Ford Lasso: the best comedy can buy. I can’t get rid of it in the trades, I had to put an X underneath so people thought there was buried treasure. One previous owner, a mysterious pirate captain’. And ladies, I have his phone number so GO SPIT!
The third musketeers on each side was the flirty cute Joel Creasey and the disconcertedly hirsute Ben Sutton. Joel had the credentials as the former debating captain of his high school, while Ben showed off his English education and shaved himself a bald patch. Joel rounded up swimwear models to tell jokes, Ben….watched. What they had in common was passion for their side, the crowd on side and an unhealthy fascination with Nat Lewis’ chlamydia cavern: Joel trimmed the bushel with secateurs, and Ben performed a little song about it (for the sing-a-long version, the words are ‘do you want to eat my meat-tray meat-tray meat-tray meat-tray meat-tray put it in your mouth’, which is both informative and entertaining)
But wait folks, there’s more, both sides had the help of a veritable army of additional guests. As well as the six debaters, the night was hosted (and self-introduced) by Werzal, who lamented he was not out of shape but out of his centaury: he would have been belly deep in bitches during the reign of Henry the Eighth. John Robertson, whom I suppose was a kind of warm up, also had issues with time: his Guantánamo Bay joke was ‘as relevant 5 years ago as it was 7 years ago’ .
But wait folks, there’s more. We also had comedy magician Adam Mada doing some sexy magic. It was pretty darn sexy, although he aint no Michael Workman. We also had…another magician, doing some perhaps less sexier (which I think from now on we will refer to as ‘Workmanier) but no less magical magic.
But wait folks, there’s more. James De Leo had a little speech too. I’m not sure whose side he was on, but what the hey it’s a party.
But wait folks, there’s more. We had improv torchbearer and dad-about-town Sam Longley leading the debaters and audience into some old fashioned floundering, and all I’m pretty sure unprintable here (ok, you pushed me, here’s Andrea’s rejected slogan ‘Condoms: For stuck up c#nts’). What a packed line-up, we need a local GNW or this comedy boom is going to kill us all.
But wait folks,...that’s about it, but who is the debate winner? The negative, comedy is not sexy. Sorry, Workmany. I beg to differ.