Coming Clean
Once again Rod Quantock and Fiona Scott Norman have brought a comedy show to the unlikely venue of the Old Melbourne Gaol. Coming Clean is an event where a hand picked selection of Melbourne’s comedy community come clean about their past indiscretions before an audience.
Upon entering the Old Melbourne Gaol, we were directed to a section of the gaol’s main cell block. While waiting for the actual show we could socialise and have a look at some of the informative displays in the cells. There were stories of infamous prisoners displayed with their death masks and some interesting old restraining equipment.
Armed with a megaphone, Rod joined us and began a tour of the facilities. Relaying a mix of facts and fiction, he told us about the history of the place, pointing out items of interest. The gallows was the first stop of the tour, where Ned Kelly and many others met their maker.
As the tour proceeded out into the yard it was obvious that the mix of the sizable crowd and the narrow doorways would be an issue. Rod continued on with the commentary as people were still filing through the exit so those unfortunate enough to be at the rear of the pack missed some of Rod’s colourful comments. I’m sure this issue will be addressed at the next show, but to be on the safe side, try to keep to the front of the crowd if possible.
The tour then took in the old City Morgue and stopped at the Magistrate’s Court where Rod enlisted the help of several punters to enact a trial. Under Rod’s direction, the result was an extremely brief and suitably chaotic trial with plenty of amusing lines provided by the parties involved.
Traversing some narrow corridors, the tour continued through the booking desk (Look for the hilarious comment on the whiteboard. Was it a copper’s joke, fact or a plant by someone involved with the show?) and into the venue for the show proper, the exercise yard of the Remand Centre. Essentially a white concrete box with a chain-link fence providing a glimpse of the outside world, its prominent feature was a urinal and toilet cubicle in the corner that had no door for privacy. Rod promised to have it spot-lit for the next show.
After the opportunity to whet our whistles at the bar, the show began with Rod acting as MC, performing the job in his usual haphazard and rambling manner. First up to bare their soul to us was Judith Lucy with a tale of being strip searched at Auckland airport whilst in possession of a tiny amount of Cannabis. After recounting this tale with her usual dry wit and sarcasm, she confessed that she was such a goody two shoes that it was her only brush with the law. For the remainder of her spot, Judith told some of her older tales including her experience with a male escort, other unfortunate sexual encounters and several drunken escapades.
Next up was co-presenter Fiona Scott Norman with a number of shoplifting tales, pulling some of her booty (seven inch singles of novelty songs) from her jacket and pants. These stories weren’t exactly a constant stream of hilarity, instead they were amusing in the cringe worthy tone of the situations. The insertion of some relevant lines from Fiona’s back catalogue helped to break up rather dry details. She finished her spot with a story about why it’s not a good idea to try to crack a joke while in police custody.
Following a short interval, Lawrence Leung hit the stage and used the theme of the show to revisit some of the material from his festival show of several years ago, “Sucker”. With his usual highly enthusiastic delivery he explained the concepts behind the art of confidence scams and told the story of meeting the “Professional Liar” known as “The Professor” at a chess club. Lawrence also demonstrated a “Matchbox scam”, relieving a punter of twenty bucks, and a game of Three Card Monty.
The final performer to confess was Dave Grant with a number of stories about his run in with authority figures. There were tales of punishment dealt out by his parents and a number of arrests for assault. With assault being the main thread of the stories it was rather heavy going at times but Dave had the ability to pepper the tales with many hilarious comments and asides that lightened the mood considerably.
Overall it was a fantastic event where we not only learnt some history (if you could sift the truth from Rod’s tour) but we also saw a mix of both old and new material from a group of Melbourne’s top comedians. All spots were well suited to the theme of the night and showed that humour can indeed be derived from illegal behavior.
Next week (9th of October) will feature confessions by Dave O’Neil, Fiona Scott Norman, Evan Jones and Greg Fleet. In the meantime, have a look at www.quantock.com.au for information on this show and other Rod related stuff.