The Groggy Squirrel

For a comedian starting out, five minutes on stage can feel like an eternity. Spare a thought then for Mark Watson, who recently completed his longest show yet – a grueling 36-hour comedy marathon titled “Mark Watson’s Seemingly-Impossible 36-hour Circuit of the World”. Held from Monday 14th August (through Tuesday, and Wednesday) as part of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Mark and his dedicated hench persons put themselves (and the audience) through a record-breaking test of comedic endurance.

Details are still sketchy about precisely what happened during the Edinburgh show (but rest assured they will eventually emerge – the show is documented in exacting detail by an army of volunteers). However, this article is not about the Edinburgh experience, but rather the Melbourne-based Embassy who toiled away on a range of delegated tasks, studiously reporting back to home base via the Internet and telephone.

The Melbourne crew was led by comedian Andrew McClelland, veteran of Mark Watson’s two previous Edinburgh endurance shows. His able lieutenant was Dan Walmsley, the co-musical-director of last year’s “2005 years in 2005 minutes” show, who provided accommodation, internet, recording, editing and graphics facilities, as well as a web site which was constantly updated with the results of our efforts. Rounding out the crew were comedians Lawrence Leung and Janet McLeod, stuntman and performer Simon Scott and a rogues’ gallery of other performers and punters.

Nobody was quite sure what to expect when they signed up for the task, including Janet McLeod. “Sign up? I thought it was a press gang,” says Janet. “I innocently turned up for a couple of hours to provide a bit of support but was drawn irresistibly into the vortex of Watsonian fun, not to be released until the final countdown.”

An Alternate Universe

Once the ball was rolling, events tumbled one upon another. Early on, the Melbourne team was tasked with creating an anthem for the show. “When Andy spoke to Mark on the phone, and was asked if we could write the anthem, the word Watsonia just popped into my head,” says Daniel. The anthem for the fictional nation of Watsonia was written and recorded in about an hour, and posted online for the Edinburgh crew to download. It was so well-received that they recorded their own tribute in return, an anthem called “McClel-Land” which, though heart-felt, subtly mocked antipodean culture – a subtext that forebode the drama yet to come.

After the anthem came a flag, web site, and then the title of Embassy of Southern Watsonia. Titles and roles were assumed, and attendants quickly entered an altered reality in which we were the diplomatic staff of a neglected outpost of the grand Watsonian Empire. Says Andy “I flatter myself by saying I was the Southern Hemisphere ambassador. Which is more of a ceremonial role really. Like Most ambassadors I got all of the glory whilst my staff (namely Dan Walmsley) did all of the work. I got to host the gala balls, declare the revolution and park poorly with no fear of tickets due to my diplomatic immunity. Dan got to update the website, but will one day receive a shiny gold watch when we fire him.”

Declare the revolution? Indeed we did. Frustrated at the lack of a reliable audio or video-link to the motherland, the staff of the Southern Embassy revolted, seceding from Watsonia and founding the Grand Duchy of New South Watsonia, with its own distinct culture and, of course, a revolutionary flag to match. A video of our demands was created, including the ominous threat that we would slightly harm a Scotsman every hour until the Northerners obtained a webcam.

The revolution polarised participants in the event, even revealing a traitor in the ranks. “During the excitement of the revolution word came through that Tim Minchin was a turncoat and had sided with mainland Watsonia,” explains Janet. “I immediately phoned him with the threat that either he sided with the Australians or next Melbourne International Comedy Festival we would be contacting his graphic artist and getting them to give him an uncomplimentary skin-tone on his poster. He saw reason.”

The requested webcam came quickly but, alas, not quickly enough. With the assistance of Scottish stuntman Simon Scott, two videos had already been made depicting the humiliation and running-down of a kilted man by two screaming revolutionaries in a silver Hyundai hatchback. These were dutifully posted online to show the Northerners that, had they not caved to our demands immediately, we would have meant business.

A lasting peace was eventually made when Adam Hills ordered – from Edinburgh – some pizza to be delivered to Dan Walmsley’s house. The Southern Watsonians displayed the pizza proudly to the Northerners via the now-operational video link, and ordered them their own pizza in return.

The Extremes of Sleeplessness

On the flow of ideas into the show, Lawrence says “The best thing about lack of sleep is that it causes people to lose their inhibitions and come up with fanciful ideas. The idea of Rebellion was cooked up over breakfast in a cafe after the first sleepless night at time where we should have been uttering baby talk. The secret meetings behind the French Revolution was conducted in similar way.” And how did we cope with the lack of sleep? Andy says “a distinct fear of missing any fun kept me awake. As well as the usual proud ‘press-on’ spirit of your common Southern Watsonian.” All in attendance found a way to contribute to the Embassy’s efforts, whether by supplying food and drink, writing, drawing, or simply contributing successively more outrageous ideas.

As time wore on, the global nature of the event snowballed to ever more farcical extremes. At one point, Australian comic Adam Hills appeared on Rove Live (in a satellite link from Edinburgh) wearing a t-shirt bearing the Watsonian flag – designed just hours earlier in a lounge-room in Australia. Dutifully recorded in Melbourne, the footage was then edited and placed on the web site for those back in Edinburgh to see. Another highlight, says Andy , was “The look on Heather Ruck’s face as Janet Mcleod and I, as delegates of the Southern Watsonian embassy, picked her up at the airport”. Heather had attended the first five hours of the show in Edinburgh, hopped on a plane, and attended the end of the show in Melbourne. To the best of our knowledge, this is the first time in history that someone has traversed half the globe in less time than it takes to perform a comedy show, having attended the same show at both ends of the journey. “It was the punchline to a 30 hour setup”, effuses Janet.

Participating in the show was an all-consuming experience, even for those who couldn’t be there the whole time. “I had go to work, but in the five or six hours that I was away, my mind was consumed with what was happening at the Embassy and the other side of the world,” says Lawrence. “All I could talk about was the 36 hour show and what was happening and how excited I was to be a small part in it.” Janet, working with Lawrence at the Melbourne Museum, also couldn’t escape the Watsonian pull. “All the time I was viewing jars of frogs my mind was still on Watsonia and whether it needed an animal emblem.” The Home Stretch In the final moments of the show, despite being awake as long as 45 hours, the joke had still not worn thin. Mark Watson was still cracking jokes (and they were still very funny). Lawrence felt “elated, tired. Tired, elated.” Bold leader Andy McClelland was “tired and deliriously happy. Delirious being the key term there.” Will he do it again? “Would you go to Gumbaya Park again? Of Course!”

By the end, the sheer creative anarchy of Mark Watson’s show had driven us to the limit of our imagination and endurance. Even Andrew McClelland was taken by surprise. “I was expecting the extreme lack of sleep,” he says. “I didn’t expect to be leading Australia’s most glorious revolution since the Eureka Stockade.”

● Mark Watson has a MySpace page with details of all his activities at http://www.myspace.com/markwatsonthecomedian

● You can find a photo gallery of the Melbourne contingent at http://nationofwatsonia.com/gallery/v/mark-show/

● The blog of the Embassy of Southern Watsonia can be found at http://nationofwatsonia.com/south

● We even created an online store. You can buy almost anything emblazoned with the Watsonian Flag at http://cafepress.com/watsonia. Any profits will be funneled back to Mark for donation to his nominated charity.