The Groggy Squirrel

In a similar format to the “Purge Nights” of several years ago, The Golden Guy Fawkes Awards was a competition for comedians to perform their most seditious material and possibly be deemed the “Comedian most likely to blow up Parliament”. The prizes up for grabs were a framed certificate, a set of plans of Parliament and a bag of fertilizer. Judging them on their attempts was a panel consisting of the “Aussie-as” singer Paul Kelly, Fiona Scott Norman and lawyer Julian Burnside.

The Old Melbourne Gaol was the ideal venue for a night of government bashing. The show took place in the main cell block of the Gaol with the stage set up not far from the infamous “Hanging Beam”. The capacity audience was seated throughout the length of the main corridor, which due to its length, made viewing the stage difficult from the back. Brief glimpses of people (hopefully Techies not ghosts!) walking on the upper landings gave the place some degree of spookiness.

We were greeted at the entrance of the venue by Cliffy and his guitarist mate Dave singing their “G’Day Mate” song. The boys joined the crowd inside and performed their “Unaustralian” song as a warm up to the show. Being at the front of the room in the main aisle, without amplification or lighting, this pre show entertainment was unfortunately limited to those seated at the front.

The show proper was kicked off with a song from Paul Kelly about God telling him what to do (obviously a dig at George W). The host for the evening Rod Quantock then took the stage, keeping us entertained between the competitors with this trademark political gear. He even went to some effort by dressing in formal shirt, jacket and tie, but stopped short of the pants (he stated that most of the audience wouldn’t see them anyway).

Corinne Grant was the first entrant to grace the stage and she performed a solid set of material about our Federal government and Terrorism. Next was an appearance from Gerard McCulloch who’s set included some pieces lifted from his “Gerry of Arabia” from several years ago which was (un)fortunately still relevant.

Perth’s Andrew Horabin was next. Armed with a guitar performed songs such as “I’m not racist but..” and “Georgie Boy” as well as his classic “Human Rights Abuse Cup” race call. The final act for the first half was Wil Anderson who shouted at us for ten minutes with material that occasionally got back to that of a seditious flavour.

During a substantial interval, many of the crowd chose to have a look around the Gaol and view the many informative displays. It was interesting to see how the atmosphere of the place at night adds to the experience.

After a short song by Kieran Butler, Eddie Perfect stepped up to compete. I noticed that he performed the same set that he had done at The Wrong Night two weeks ago. Apart from some early gear on politics, it didn’t really touch on any relevant issues.

Next up was Greg Fleet who’s material also didn’t always seem relevant, but at least he made the effort to tie it in somehow with the theme. He lifted huge chunks of his “Homo” material from his festival show and managed to create some tenuous links. He was joined by Kieran and his guitar to finish his spot with a brilliant song “There’s nothing more Aussie”.

Doing a festival show that was based on sedition, you could have thought that Wendy Little had an unfair advantage. Armed with a couple of songs and a flannel burka, she delivered a great set. The hyperactive Duff was next to do this thing and treated us to his views on politics and social issues.

The final act for the night was Joe Dolce with quite an intense performance. Dressed as an Arab (complete with beer can bombs strapped on) it involved a reworking of his song “Shuddupa Ya Face” (Total lyrics: “Get out of Iraq, Don’t bomb Iran”), a chainsaw and a spoken word piece set to a wall of noise. This spot was completely off the wall but barely amusing.

After some deliberation and some filling by Rod, the judges returned to the stage to announce the winner. It was explained that each act was scored by a value representing how many years imprisonment that act would gain them. Special mentions (all on a score of 28 years) were Joe Dolce, Gerard McCulloch and Andrew Horabin. The winner with a sentence of 45 years was Greg Fleet.

Although a bit lengthy, it was a great evening. It is hoped that this event will become an annual fixture on the Comedy Festival program, although it is also wished that the removal of the Sedition Laws will make this show less necessary.