If I had a penis… I would name it. Then I would make people guess its name or I won’t spin straw into gold for them.
The weirdest moment of my life was… Finding myself dancing in the snow on top of Mt Wellington without shoes, wearing only my underpants. In front of a camera. Uni scav hunts are fun. And the footage is hilarious (or so everyone tells me). Nan liked it.
I’m the most comfortable when… I have a few friends, a few drinks, and no nagging feeling that I’ve forgotten to do something, like make those friends, feed the cat or write down that method of cold fusion…damn.
The healthiest thing in my fridge at the moment is… Probably the mould growing at the back. Healthy food isn’t my thing. My motto is ‘eat what you want, when you want it, and if it kills you, at least you die full’. Hi to the management of the Golden Towers and the Red Engine group.
I wish I wasn’t … Paranoid. It takes a lot of time and effort to constantly quiz my friends to assure myself that they haven’t been replaced by spies, pod people or New Weekly readers.
One of the newest comedians to arrive on Melbourne shores, Renee Turner originally hails from Tasmania. You can catch Renee at The Vault on the 28th March