I’m most proud of… MY GLORIOUS POEMS.
“There once was a man from Venus
Who always stood with three feet between us
Dare he peer into the abyss of his soul?
And see the swirling darkness within, a black hole, the void
What delight, a motley fool dancing
While the world burns and children starve
What distance, three feet betwixt he and I
Yet a chasm between his mind a reality
What doom, what gloom, what outrageous misfortune
To deny reality and live in a dream world of lies?
What untruths can be untold?
What lies can be denied?
And his arm was as long as his penis.”
My first relationship was… with a lion I hunted in Botswana whom I stalked for eight hours using a technique taught to me by the Kalahari bushmen. No, no… that was my first lion fantasy. I like lions.
Before I die, I wish… I’m going to die? Do you know when?!? I wish I don’t die!
I’ve always thought that… people who read the Groggy Squirrel are Asian. Or comedians. Definitely either Asian or comedians. I don’t care about… monetary policy. I just don’t give a damn, am I crazy? I DON’T CARE. I don’t even know what it is. Oh, it’s what? Another word for interest rates? Oh, I do care about that. I care a lot.